Love, Fantasy, and Football

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I used to feel slightly disconnected from my husband during 2 seasons of the year.

Football Season and Tax Season

Before we got married, our fall/winter Sundays consisted of my husband, Dennis, watching football games on the television, giving “constructive feedback” to the players and referees and coaches as if they could hear him. I would sit next to him and try to understand why he would get so frustrated. I didn’t understand most of the terminology or the rules of the game. What was a “sack”? Why was a team only given 2 points for a “safety” which, in my opinion, required just as much work as a team that got 6 points for a touchdown? When Dennis would talk to his friends, or even total strangers about football, I felt left out. I wanted to talk with him about one hobby he loved! ! wanted to join in on the fun!

Some friends and family started a fantasy football league in 2008, and I joined in. I thought my team name was fierce – “Red Crush” (now called Red Tempest). I was going all in determined to win! I had no clue what I was doing. I picked players that were the most popular on television. I picked defenses based on where I lived. I looked to see what the Fox Fantasy Football commentators said about the players – who was injured, had potential and did not perform as well as expected. I had no real strategy because I did not know the game. I was really a fish out of water. Just floundering!! Dennis, my husband, best friend, and the one that always saves me from embarrassment, came to my rescue.

Dennis is a patient teacher. He explained to me the rules of the game and fantasy football. He gave me advice on which players to add and drop with an explanation of why I should consider his recommendation. Even if it was a week we were competing against each other, he would still be kind enough to provide me advice, even if it could be to his detriment. I believe it was important to him that I was learning and enjoying the game. By the middle of the 2008 football season, I was feeling more comfortable and able to follow more of the football conversations with my husband and his friends. By the end of the 2008 season I was able to provide “constructive feedback” to the players on the television. Within a couple of years, I won a fantasy football championship game!

From that point on, we would start talking about football in as early as April, during the draft , which coincidentally falls on our anniversary! Sometimes football comes first. In 2016, Dennis would not go leave the hotel to go out for our anniversary dinner until the Cowboys made their first round draft pick. That was the year they picked Ezekiel ‘Zek’ Elliott. In 2018, during our 10 year anniversary/vow renewal reception, we had to have the television on during the reception dinner, to ensure Dennis and many of our guests had an opportunity to watch the draft.

Though this blog is centered around football, it is a lot more than that. It is about how participating in activities, as a couple, has benefits that can strengthen a relationship. A 2015 Pew Research study of the married individuals, stated 64% of those surveyed found that shared activities are important to a successful.

Taking an interest in your partner’s activities can keep the relationship from becoming stagnant. To stay vibrant, both partners need to continue to learn from and about each other. With football, I am the student and my husband is the teacher. I value his expertise in this area and feed off of his knowledge. I love to learn and I am like a sponge. 

When the new AT&T Stadium was built, Dennis told me he wanted to visit there one day. Being an avid Dallas Cowboys fan,and me, a Washington fan, in 2013 we went to Dallas to see the game between these division rivals. (By the way, our 22 year old son is a Philadelphia Eagles fan! But I digress).

We had points to stay at the Marriott Airport South in Fort Worth Texas which is within a couple of miles to the stadium. We were among all types of fans from both sides. Dennis and I had so much fun that we decided a bucket list item would be to visit each NFL stadium. We would incorporate our love of travel and football to visit cities we have never visited before, meet people that had a shared interest, and watch a game.

Now we have something new to share and partner on. He finds the games and the airline tickets, I get the hotels, he looks to see if there are local Segway tours to explore the city and I look for the restaurants and other activities. 

Our relationship continues to thrive as we both try new things that keep us active and in-tuned with each other. By learning more about my husband’s interest, I found that I really enjoy football and look forward to not only watching it with him on Sundays, but also making at least 1 trip a year to a different NFL stadium.

So what about that other season. Tax season? Well, he can enjoy that all on his own. Too much too learn and too much math!!